So which one am I supposed do first?

Ahhh the list of priorities continues to mount. Mom, wife, ministry worker, disciple, student....the list grows. I am overjoyed to be at this juncture of my life, but let me tell you, this is hard work. Someone told me not so long ago that the stage of pruning and perfecting oneself in the image of God is hard work. How true that is. I feel overwhelmed at some of the prospects out ahead of me, yet oddly energized at the process of it all. I am not sure that i am making a ton of sense, just know that I am in a transitional stage right now, and I hope you'll bear with me on the ride.

QUACK

Ok, the title for this blog came from an impromtu staff meeting where I asked to change a meeting time for all of us. You cannot imagine the guilt and guts it took for me to ask for the meeting time change. My fellow colleagues laughed a bit and told me that I would have to develop a thicker skin if I was to succeed and stay in ministry. One nice lady ;-) told me to think of it as oil on feathers, comments and issues would slide right off. I giggled, and then as I walked back to my office I realized how true that is. I also realized how much wisdom is entailed in that phrase.
As I think about ministry and loving people as Jesus would, I know in my head that there will be times that I will say and do the unpopular. I will anger people, I already have in my short tenure here. I will receive and grant grace and forgiveness, and that is ok. I have/will learn.
Jesus was not popular. Jesus did not worry about his feelings being hurt, nor did he worry about offending. Because he acted in Love and understood the grace of God, and the people with whom he was working, he could be honest and open.
I am often frustrated with myself for being the emotive indivdual that I am. If someone is hurting, I tend to hurt right along with them. Sometimes this serves me well, other times it can be a hindrance. As I begin this new chapter in seminary life I am awarded the opportunity to assess who I think I am versus who God has created me to be. I look forward with anxious joy to the trip and the final product.
I would covet your prayers as I continue my mission of pruning. ~cal~

Scared to death.

Ok, so it has indeed been awhile since I have last blogged. My mind has been full. I start back to school ( Sfalls Seminary) next week, and though the classes seem not to be too bad, I am scared. Can I do this? How will there be enough hours in the day to manage and give to all those that have needs?
I know that I am called to pursue my education at this time, so I am seeking my MDIV with an emphasis in Pastoral Care. Where that takes me, I cannot say, that is only for the Lord to reveal to me.
Some have asked me what I hope to attain, and how I plan to use this degree in the future. The more I think about it, the more the idea of traveling and being with people on their personal journey is a precious gift in which to be a part. I want to walk with people on their path and use the gifts and talents God has given me to love people. I want to show people the love of God, that it is unconditional and available to everyone.
I have had the privilege to see a couple services from up front and what an honor that is. I told a friend today that I found it fun to be up there sharing the prayers and helping to lead the service. I found I enjoyed watching the congregation more and the impact the pastor's words had on them. I could see the understanding come to people. Moreimportantly I could see families, sometimes multiple generations worshipping together. I get it. I want my family with me and I want to share that journey with others.
So, for now, my call is to walk through the door to Sioux Falls Seminary and do as i am told.
I would covet your prayers and encouragement as I enter into this newest phase.

Servanthood

Ephesians 3:1-12

“I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of God’s power, Although I am less than the least of God’s people, this grace was given to me.” Vs 7-8a

I waited intentionally before I wrote this devotional at the probable frustration of our fearless leader, Michelle. It was originally intended for the Advent Devotional used for Worship and Contemplation during the Advent season, however I feel compelled to share it here as there is much in my head as of late. Let's see if anyone reads this blog.

I came upon a situation in late October that has reshaped my vision of leadership and servant-hood for the Gospel.
I thought previously, that being a leader and being a disciple for Christ meant that I had to engage and even turn up my already energetic personality. I was so wrong.
I had the privilege not so long ago to sit with a person in the most bottom depths of despair and confusion. For most of the day, I did not reveal to this person that I worked full time in ministry; I felt simply called to come alongside this person and be the light of Christ. It was not easy. I was ushered into a portion of this person’s life that few ever see. I stared face-to-face with life and death, despair and sorrow. When my natural instinct would be to talk endlessly and offer a million solutions, I could only sit in silence, listen, and pray. I could not change the circumstances and I could not control another’s actions or responses. I had to let the Holy Spirit guide my words and footsteps and trust. I had to be a servant of the Gospel in the most quiet and unassuming method possible.
This called me out of my comfort zone. Those that know me understand me to be an energetic and creative young woman. I am. What I am also called to be is a servant and a servant understands that there are times to speak and times to listen. A servant understands that they may help in a situation, but the Master makes the ultimate decision. A servant understands that quiet diligence is much more powerful than all the flowery speeches and creative ideas combined.
After that time spent on a gorgeous Monday, I understood clearly the mission of Jesus to preach and teach to those in the lowest pits. I understand that while I may have gifts and talents, my greatest gift is to listen to that still, small voice telling me that even I, little Cindy, have the honor to be a servant of Christ.

Senseless and Sad

I came back from a weekend away in the beautiul Black Hills of South Dakota wherein I dropped off my travel companion. Upon arriving on Sycamore she and I were puzzled to find bears and flowers, a memorial by the side of the road. She commented that it must be for a kid who had passed away. Unaware of any such tragedy I endeavored to travel home, as I drove past the McDonald's on 26th right before the 229 turnoff I saw the billboard commemorating Ashleigh. Still puzzled I grabbed my cell phone and placed a call to my mother who told me of the accident this past weekend. My heart sank.
I was a teacher, and hold dear the connections with kids whom I was able to relate. I wish in many of these type of circumstances I could take kids by the shoulders and shake them a bit. I have been to too many funerals where young people are involved in, or are the victim of senseless accidents. A fellow blogger I know, talked this weekend about lives being too precious to waste trying for the next biggest "high". I would have to agree wholeheartedly. The more I continue to age, and the more I see my sons grow I understand the precious gift that we have been awarded. It is just that, a gift. It is not to be taken for granted or abused or thrown away. God talks in the Old Testament of our lives being a breath, or a puff of air. One breath, that is all it takes my friends.
What am I saying? I am bothered today. I do not know Ashleigh, nor do I know the other individuals involved in this weekend's accident. I do know that a high school will be in turmoil and a good many people's lives will be irreversibly affected. Take a moment today, breathe in the beautiful fall air, feel it fill your lungs and travel the length your body and be THANKFUL that today, at this moment, it is yours. Today is yours to make a difference and make an impact, and please, be so very careful out there.

Just thinking

Hello all. I cannot believe the summer is gone and school will resume here next week. It is not possible that time flies this fast, is it?
I woke up on Tues. morning to the realization that my baby is now 4 months old and my oldest son will start Sunday School this year. EEEh gads. What will those teachers do with a whole roomful of little three year olds?
That brings me to the issue I bring forth today. Teachers. God Bless them. Whether they are teaching in a school setting, in a church, or office, wherever, God Bless them. They are a vital part of the learning process in school and at church. Not everyone has the gift of teaching and I am grateful each day that there are phenomenal teachers in so many areas.
At Asbury, we are blessed to have on staff some outstanding teachers working with youth and adults, when you get a chance to thank them or watch them in action take a minute and do just that. There are a number of adults with a wealth of information leading classes throughout the year. We are lucky to have them among us. We also have at the helm of the children's area some wonderful volunteers who give of their time and prayers to shepherd the young people. I feel better knowing when I take my son to Sunday School he will be cared for and nurtured in the best way possible.
After I wipe my eyes when I drop him off at his classroom I will breathe a sigh of relief that he is in a safe place and having a blast. I will also giggle and thank my lucky stars that I am not in that room with all those 3-4 year olds. They have enough energy to power the US a couple times over.
I simply wanted to take the moment I had for this blog to extend my thanks and good wishes to all those attending and teaching classes this year. Education is such a wonderful privilege and it is so generously supported here at Asbury. Bravo, and have a super year.

Vbs Teaches Me More than Expected

Hello there I write this after a reprieve from Vacation Bible School last week. Don't get me wrong, it was awesome and the kids had a great time, it is just a lot of work and effort to make something like that come off without a hitch. Weather and torrential rains notwithstanding, we had a great time.
I had the chance to be present and watching kids this year, and what a treat that was. I was able to stand back and watch the interaction of the helpers and the kids. It was so cool. I think one of my favorite moments was watching the kids embrace mealtime as we did it family style. Instead of grabbing food and being rambunctious, they passed food and engaged in conversation around their tables. Quite civilized for a bunch of 3 year old - fifth graders.
There was another moment that struck my heart quite forcefully, 2 actually. on Thurs. I asked the children if they knew who the guest person coming for the day was. After numerous guesses, one little one said, "Jesus." I replied that He was already here, that he was here with us all the time. My son, Xavier, was sitting next to me on the step and told me that Jesus was here, "in my heart." WOW. There is little I can say in response to that. What a lesson from a 3 year old. How unafraid he was to express himself and how he felt. It reminded me of the song from Newsboys..."I'm not ashamed." If you have not heard the song, I encourage you to check it out.
The second moment came later Thurs. night after the program. A mother came up to talk to me afterward and in tears she mentioned that she was so thankful that her daughter had had the chance to sing songs like she did when she was a girl. I was taken aback at the urgency with which she spoke and then I looked at her daughter. Here they were in a moment of sharing and experiencing God together and I was able to see it. What a privilege. That is what I think relational ministry is, that is what God does. Move quietly, and then Wham, reveals something completely unexpected. Keep your eyes open.