newest addition Atticus Walkar Larson

back by popular demand.

Wow, has my life been a whirlwind of activity these last weeks. Six weeks ago I had a bouncing baby boy, Atticus Walkar. He, and my son Xavier, are the joys of my life. However, I feel a tinge of guilt. I took both boys to Daycare this morning. I trust my provider implicitly. She is a God-centered woman, with the best for the children in her care at heart. She takes the care of others' children as a top priority....however....I can't but feel guilty that I am at work and someone else is watching and interacting with my boys.
I know that when they go to school I will have someone else watching them and their life will take on new meaning, but the age-old battle for a woman as to whether or not to place children in daycare is a hard one to bolster. I am torn for want of adult conversation and responsibilities and the ones i have for my children. Is it horrible that I want to be out in the work force and seeing and interacting with people who don't watch Wonder Pets? Am I out of my mind?
I told my oldest the other day that mommy was going out with the girls for a night to play. When he asked why I told him it was so mommy would be a better mommy when she comes back. Do we forget to take breaks? I know I do.
I learned that these past weeks. I need to know when my limit has been reached, otherwise I am no good for anyone, not even in ministry. It is soooo easy to let that time for myself slide, in all areas. I can do my bible study later, I can pray later when I have time. The time is now.
I got off track there. Sorry. I think I am ready for a transition, and want to embark on something exciting. What that is, remains to be revealed.
Pray for me as I struggle with the working mom issue....if anyone has thoughts, let me know, I miss hearing from people. ~cal~