lenten message revamped

The Scripture tonight is taken from Romans 5 where Paul encourages the church to remember that Faith and the tests we encounter bring joy. This was a little hard for me to stomach at first. Truth be told, I do not want to think about that; I want to keep God in my nice little box with a pretty ribbon and believe that only good comes through faith. I want to close my eyes and envision a pretty land flowing with only the best and most favorite of all my favorites. I want to snap my fingers and have all my dilemmas solved and receive ultimate blessings with no work. I want, I want, I want.
Many of you know that I am starting a new chapter in my life. I have enrolled and started seminary classes. I have declared my master of divinity, and where that takes me has yet to be seen. All I know is that at this stage in my life, I must do this. I have to take this step of faith and see where it takes me. I want it to be easy and effortless. I do not want to be asked tough questions for that means that I have to answer the tough questions, and that may mean I don’t have all the answers. That may mean that I may be asked by God to go through some troubling times. I don’t want that . I want to believe that because I have dedicated my life to ministry that everything should be easy. I want to believe that as a ministry worker, that my life will be perfect. How wrong am I?
Please do not misunderstand me. I am grateful for the chance to be here at Asbury and working in and with all of you. I am grateful to experience Seminary and class work again. I am even grateful for writing papers, I am one of those who enjoys doing them… I am not grateful right now for the work God is doing in my life because it is excrutiatingly hard.
As I look at the passage from Romans I am reminded of precious metal and it is the mark of faith. It is the belief that even in the midst of what seems to be crumbling in front of our eyes, that Christ is still there and was from the beginning. That is hard for me to hear. I want instant faith, I want my gold polished pure and shiny, but I do not want to feel the process it goes through to be purified. I want faith, but I want it on my own terms. I figure if I have lived a good life this long, at 33 I have had enough character building experiences, I don’t want anymore of them. I want the good life, so to speak.
God has other plans. God wants to teach you and I about endurance. I have heard Jason talk about running the good race and perservering until the end. I like that analogy more and more. God wants to take the comfortable life that you and I are living and expose it for us to see what is really taking place. God wants to show me who my sons are and how I interact with them. God wants to reveal to me that people are not items to deal with, they are the essence of God. God wants me to listen to how I communicate with people who are unlike me, and to listen to what they are saying. God wants me to understand the meaning of love from others and my spouse and to not take any of it for granted. God wants me to honest with myself, others, and in my prayers to God. God wants me to be blunt. God wants to be blunt with me. I will say that again, God wants to be blunt with me. God wants to be blunt with you.
It would be easy for me to walk away from all the is troubling me this semester. I told a colleague today that I am stressed, angry, irritated, frustrated, and confused. I felt bad telling this person because I thought in ministry I had to have it all figured out. I thought I could sugar coat my emotions and my words and skate by on what I think I know. God has other plans. God loves a broken people, because there the real work is done. There God pours out agape love and embraces us with outstretched arms, as on a cross. God tells us that with fire and trouble comes a metal so much stronger and brighter. God tells us that with our turmoil and trouble we will fight the good fight and run the race set out before us. And we will win. We will win.