Wow, it is only days from now that I will embark with 30 other people to serve the hurricane ravaged city of New Orleans. I will leave on Sat May 31 and will not return till weeee late on Sun. June 8. I know most of the people traveling, yet this is my first time traveling with a mission team, it is my first mission experience. I am scared.
I am not a traveled individual, I love culture and theatre, but have had no opportunity to span the globe in search of adventure. Too many reasons I rationalize have kept me from embracing those moments. After some waffling this spring, I decided that God was right about my venturing out of my comfort zones, God wants me to serve. So, serve I shall.
I am scared though. I do not usually step up to do things which I feel I may not do well. Sure, I can hammer, but well? That is another matter altogether. This calls me to leave behind my family (2 boys ages 1 and 4) a husband I have never not traveled with, and the comfort of my life as I know it. I don't like heat, I don't know how to travel, I have not partaken of ethnic food, I am not a seasoned traveler. I do not look forward to over 20 hours in a bus.
I do look forward to seeing a part of the United States I have never seen, I am excited about serving with people I truly appreciate for a cause that makes an impact. I look forward to learning about myself and others as we endeavor to build community and homes all at the same time.
It is humbling for me to admit that I am scared, I view myself as a pretty capable woman, and here I am venturing into foreign territory. Many questions swirl in my head....Will I be able to do the work? Will my teammates make fun of me if I drill a wrong hole? Will I destroy a wall with my wrong hole? Will I survive a 20 hour bus ride? What will I see, and how will it affect me? Will I come back a changed person, what if I don't? What if I do? Will the boys be ok without me? Will Mike function as complete head of household in my absence? What more possible questions could I have? Will the crocodiles eat our swamp boat? The list grows....and so does the excitement.
Stay tuned for more as the trip and my faith develops.
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Oh my Cindy! I pray for you and for the others on this mission team. I hope that you embrace the fact that God is with you now, is there already, is preparing in advance of your coming. I want to say: Get rid of the negative thoughts; I know that is much easier to say than do. But please, begin to embrace the love of Christ that is being shared; embrace the fact that you will be traveling with others who have been on mission trips before and have travelled alot of places, and relax knowing that they are there with you; be eager for what God will be doing in and through you, not fearful, not "trepidatious" as you say, but eager for how God will be working. Look everywhere for God and you will find God there already. If God is for you, who (or what) can be against you? Hold fast to this God who loves you. And enjoy!
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